A box full of darkness.

Hello me hearties =)

I've got a finished work for you again, the little inbetween - speedy called "Moonchild", inspired by a song by the same name by Celtus =)

It's nothing special but I kinda had to do this inbetween... and it's - if he doesn't pull back - already sold to a friend x)

And for all the rest - I decided to continue with the Ghost river - painting I had flying around here... well I could say I didn't decide but my inner me did ... Here are a few of the last WIP's =)

The castle is inspired by some sculpture and digital art stuff I found on my google research but all in all there's not much left of the original images, I re-designet it all x) Hope I can smash the girl who wants this painting off her chair with the details 'n shit xD

So... for the rest... I'm doing fine, I just lately had a little family argument that kicked me back into a bit of a depressive phase that almost poked me into the wrong direction again but I made it to climb out of there again before it ate me... for now I'm stable I think. I just feel some sort of darkness taking over the world but that's no wonder since america is about to bomb us all out of this world... We'll see. For now everything's fine. 

Now that it gets colder again my interest in writing also is coming out again... I think I'm gonna throw over my scifi novel another time xD Hopefully one day it will see some daylight ... =_= But hey - I've got a concrete beginning scene now and already have the score for it, so it can't be that bad xDD

Ok I'm out, I'm babbling too much rubbish.

I saw what you did.

Hello me hearties =)

I'm back, all tooth fixed and well... nah well rested not. Not yet. Gonna get some more sleep later, nothing to do anymore tomorrow. 

Yesterday evening was awesome again, as always when I'm in Solnhofen. A nice and cozy little "family" meeting. :) And if you ask "wtf is she talking about??" - here a video of my heroes of yesterday with one of their covers :)

If you live in southern germany (or austria) I recommend to see them live. They're awesomesauce. I'm blown away again every time I see them. They've also been adopted now by Bayern 1, one of our regional radio stations, so if you can make it to receive it, keep your ears open since they play a few of Suzan's own songs. 

I also got my borrowed e-guitar now, just need the amp and the wire now but that'll happen somewhen in the next time then =) Very curious.

I also began - out of pure boredom - a drawing with white pastel pencil on a black base colored sheet of watercolor paper... out came this:

 

And it's probably already sold since a buddy of mine loves it x) Just gotta finish it... =_= (And I guess you people know how good I am in finishing things...) We'll see =) So long...

cya :)

An essay on the learning process...

Someone I loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift. (Mary Oliver)
Without this person, my artistic skills wouldn’t be what they are today, probably they won’t even exist. I’ve paid a high price for this. But who knows where I’d be if I wouldn’t have been given this box of darkness. Probably it kept me from going astray into even darker grounds.
At first, this box of darkness seemed to be just another song with attachments that led me to the face of this person for the first time. Later on I started to glorify this box. It took me away to worlds I had never known before, showed me what I was able to do and who I seemed to really be. In reality, I was just a mirror, finding someone else in myself.
Sunk deeply into my dazed, moonlight soaked world, I didn’t realize that the darkness started to take me over. I thought I had nothing to lose, thought this is the world how it’s meant to be for me, a prince on a white horse. I’ve let it consume my thoughts, my heart, and my mind. I’ve let it consume my life which I was ready to give up.
This box kept me caged in chains I was never able to get rid of cause they seemed to be made of an indestructible material. Every time I tried to escape, they became tighter until I nearly couldn’t breathe anymore.
Then one day, the chains seemed to disappear for a little time. I took my chance and tried to wriggle myself out as long as they were nothing but translucent lines. But as I did my first move, they immediately became solid and unbreakable again. I did this for a few times, but this box always kept me chained up, threatening to tighten the chains so much that I wouldn’t be able to breathe anymore, always waving at me with the face of a good friend and the last glimpse of hope I had.
Then, one day the day came where my thoughts drifted toward the darkness, and I realized the dark box had become and is just a light grey shade in a bright environment. A deep sigh of relief welled within me, and I knew the darkness was gone for good. I felt a great relief, now that I was free from this burden. Every now and then my mind wants to open the hazy shadow box once more but loses its interest again in the last second.
For now I dwell on the bright side. And I hope this box stays the haze it is, and maybe disappears completely someday.

I thank the person who gave me this box, for all the experiences, for all the things I was allowed to learn and see, for all the inspiration he gave me and still does.
But more – for understanding life itself a little bit better.

.... I had to get this out. Found these wonderful lines by Mary Oliver today and just had to say something about it cause it hits the nail on the head. And yet this is just another try to therapy myself. 

But everything's fine, don't worry :)

So where was I? 

Had a dentist appointment today, fixing another hole or two... in the end it became a root canal treatment -.-° Now I have a temporary filling there and gotta go to the doc again on thursday to get it all finished... sheesh am I glad when these 2 teeth are done.

On wednesday I'll go to my bosses, bringing up some paper and picking up the e-guitar and in the evening going to see my 2nd mom and brother in Solnhofen. Will be a nice and cozy evening again, I know already now =) So looking forward to see them again, it's been almost 9 months now since I last saw them... 

So... yeah, not much new here in the south. Life starts to go on again after waking me up way too early today... probably gonna go to bed early too =_=

So cya'll next time =)

I slowly run out of titles...

Hello me hearties =)

There's been happening quite a lot of stuff since the last entry, but let's start at the beginning.

First of all, I finished the painting that was lying around in the corner for almost 2 years... I started it shortly after Nightwish's single storytime was out but then somehow lost the mood to continue... but now it's all done =)

Done with acrylics on a sheet of 30x40 cm Britannia watercolor paper. I'm still trying to make the new series of paintings for the NW album as a continuing story in some way, just as the songs of the album are .. I'm still working on the next one, the Ghost River piece, which has also a bridge in it... 

The 2nd thing then ... I ordered myself a stamp with my wartermark on :D Botched signatures on my artworks? Never again :D I just need a silver ink pad now cause it just won't work with the color I tried... but whatever. I can wait. 

Btw - the symbol represents the initials of my real name, an M and an A ;) I designed this piece a long time ago but never really had a use for it... one day not too long ago then I thought ok - I need a watermark. And so I found the symbol somewhere in the depths of my harddisk ... x) Now I went to one of these online stamp shops and ordered a customized stamp... Hope it will be of good use in the future. 

I also bought me some good drawing paper lately cause I'm running out of test sheets... got me some Fabriano accademia in 120g/m² and 200g/m² in A4 and A3 :) This paper is awesome for pencil portraits, I can only recommend it :)

 

So now on to the last thing I wanted to mention =)
I've been to the cinema yesterday with a friend, to watch The lone ranger :D 

(BEWARE, SPOILERS! If you don't mind being spoilt, read on.) 

And for those of you who haven't seen it yet - forget the shit that the critics are writing. The movie is awesome. Absolutely great what belongs to all the native american stuff and all that, I love it :) The landscape they filmed in also is stunning as well as the visual effects and the stunts. My fave things in the movie were the mad horse and the gun battle on the rolling trains =) Some szenes were so goddamn funny that we were almost lying down on the cinema floor laughing. BUT - some scenes badly reminded me of "Der Schuh des Manitu", a German comedy movie about a ranger and a gay native american ... I guess those Disney guys must have seen it at some point xD 

But all in all a great movie. Well, they combined Bruckheimer, Verbinski, Johnny Depp and Hans Zimmer again, there is no chance of a bad result ;) I also love the score, already got it here. 

The only thing I didn't like about the movie is that they used the old Tonto to recite his memories to a boy instead of pulling up the movie as a whole story. But everything else was great =)

Yeah so far for now... Cya =)

Getting there ... slowly.

Now, I've been quite productive the last days... the guitar pic is almost finished, only the control and neck of the guitar and the hair are missing. And I dreamed of certain persons again this night which made my inner voice poke me saying - hey, dig out that old painting and continue, maybe you're gonna finish it! And so I did. WIP's below:

So... well ^^ Probably there's gonna be at least one finished artwork in the next time then. I just can't seem to finish anything... I'm such a lazy ass -.- 

And the other thing I wanted to let you know - since there's been the flood here lately and I wanted to do something - I am selling 3 artworks for charity. The money will go completely to the flood victims here in bavaria. I wasn't able to help cleaning up the mess in the beginning of July cause I had my cracked toe and couldn't walk, so I wanna do something now by donating some money. So if you'd like to have one of those, please let me know :) These are the pics: 

I'm also atm working on a way to make my own high quality, classy looking prints, at least in A4. Never get good ideas when I see other artists doing stuff like making their own prints n stuff... xD Need to get me some printer ink first and then we'll see. 

Btw - because I talked about getting an E-guitar... my boss is gonna lend me his now :D A Fender Stratocaster if I'm not wrong <3 Very happy about that offer and can't wait to pick it up on the 21st when I go to see Susi and Dennis in Solnhofen :D :D 

Apropos Susi and Dennis - they made a video lately and I think you should see it x) Two of my best people, love them. 2nd Mom and brother :)

So, but enough babbling for now, the entry is already too long xD See y'all next time =)

News from the south.

Hello me hearties,

Back from my "brothers"' concert on friday, been sleeping almost the whole saturday through ... Was a lot of fun again. I've even been given the honor to take the photos for this gig with a Nikon SLR - camera :D But I had to find out that even if you have a good camera, you apparently still need a lot of practise to get good photos out of it... I'm not quite satisfied with the outcome... -.- Still, if you wanna see the pics you can find them here.

For everything else...I've still got that poll going on on deviant art, please don't stop voting, lovelies! YOU decide which pic I'll draw next. If I can't get a clear result I will decide on my own or draw something else in the meantime... 

Btw - I'm thinking about getting myself an E-guitar somewhen in the next months... Been trying acoustic for a long time now and found that my fingers are just too short for that one so I'll now try it with the not so broad-necked electric version (besides that, those just sound much better since I'm a metalhead xD) I've already layed an eye on two beauties, I just can't decide if I'll get myself the BC Rich Warlock or the ESP (which would be more expensive but sounds better...) Ok, actually my dream would be this beauty. But way too expensive and great for a beginner like me xD Any musicians here who could give me advices? I've already asked one of my adopted brothers but couldn't get much info out of him ... But anyway. First saving some money and then we'll see. Until then my boss is so nice to lend me his Fender Stratocaster :D <3

So ... yeah everything's slowly going back into normal again, I have way too much to do these days to have bullshit in my head and it's good like it is. Let's see what the next weeks will bring.