Do never scream too loud...

... did I say I had lost my creativity? I'm sorry that I apparently was wrong or at least my muse changed her mind and came back... I'm painting like a madwoman since yesterday xD  But have a look yourself =)

And you know what? This one's probably already SOLD!! Yeah you're reading right, this is the first pic ever someone asked me if she'd buy it... This is like a milestone ... I never expected to sell something since I don't have that much interest in that area... I feel like an accepted artist somehow ... Now there's a reason for what I'm doing =) Really, really cool. 

So ... yeah. The journey goes on then. If there's nothing else coming to my mind I will finish that painting soon I think. *is happy* =)

It's btw funny... I think I'm back in my old waters but that extreme that I had is missing. I'm not getting lost anymore. All that counts is the music. The rest is of no interest anymore. Thanks life for doing me a favour.  I feel motivated. :)

See you all in the next entry =)

Lalala...

Long time no blog, I'm sorry! 

Been sorting myself out for quite some time, coming home and down again. I don't see everything as bad anymore as I did when I was home for like a week. Past is past, you can't change anything about it, so stand up and look forward.

Haven't really been doing much the last 2 weeks ... Since I've been home my creativity is at a low-point somehow. The only thing I come a bit forward with is writing on one of my stories... Besides that I mostly sit here and watch Harry Potter movies... I would love to do more but somehow my motivation has stayed in London. Or somewhere at the airport. 

I also won't be watching over my bosses kitties in a few days cause the vacation has been moved and now I'll be there in the end of june then... but good for me cause we'll get cute little furry fuzzballs ourselves in 2 weeks. And I wanna be there when that happens. Besides that, being home in the beginning of the month means I can finish my web page and bring it online x) Oh happy day *dances*

And also.. on random .. today, I'm "clean" for almost 3 months now. No "I'm the suffering artist" or drowning in a world that makes me sick. Hope it stays that way. Otherwise I still have an ace that will end it. Hopefully.  

I'm not in a perfect condition at the moment, I do have my shadows hovering above me but I try to stay positive. If a problem can be solved, there's no need to worry about it. If a problem can't be solved, then why worry? x)

So much for me babbling rubbish (btw one of my fave british words... just sounds so much better than trash or waste xD) ... I'll leave you in peace now and will come back when there's something new =)

*vanishes*

All done ...

... London video is finally up =) Hope you like it :D

This song was a good choice in my eyes cause it somehow expresses my feelings about that whole thing itself...

I would like to fall back ... but something in my head doesn't wanna let me anymore...it's frustrating. I'd have a world I could flee my head into but my head doesn't wanna let me... Blue eyes don't give me goosebumps anymore... Just feeling like *blergh* at the moment. Hope this disappears soon. Not in the mood for getting depressive again.
All done for today... did a lot... finally put all the stuff I had in my suitcase back where it belongs and did 2 machines full of laundry ... tomorrow out to the bank, changing my leftover pounds back into euros ... 'n then we'll see. 

To the dungeons and back.

Hello me hearties

Finally back from London ... well ok since almost 2 days now but I was so done that I had to recover first before I could write anything...
So how was it? It was an adventure in some way. Wonderful, yet so strenuous that it took most of my power (as with Berlin my feeling of London is that it's a very dark and exhausting city... yet London is more beautiful than Berlin xD) I learned a damn lot over there and I think I got me a decent british accent ^^ But let's start from the beginning:

May 13th
Had to get up at around 3 am but made it earlier cause I just couldn't sleep... went off to the airport then, changing moneys and all that stuff.
Arrived at Gatwick south terminal at around... phew I have no idea but it must have been around 11 am GMT ... went out then to look for a bus (for which I had bought the ticket at the plane - how useful is that? :D) that would bring me to London Victoria (2 hours to go there, but saw a lot of England while sitting in the bus..), from Victoria I'd go to King's Cross St. Pancras with the Underground (Got lost 1 or 2 times before I found the right tube..), into the hostel, checking in, discovering that it's all old and stuff and I had to share the room with 5 or 6 other girls that I didn't know and that kept me awake almost the whole night making noises and playing music...
Later on a friend of mine arrived and we went out to King's cross, I wanted to look where that platform 9 3/4 is ... Finally found it then and took a lot of photos before going over to that shop that sold Harry Potter fan stuff
Afterwards we went to McDonald's to eat something and then we went to bed quite early cause we had a long day tomorrow...

May 14th
The day of the big concert...
We woke up quite early, not really knowing what to do, first getting ready and stuff. Not too much later, the other girls arrived that would be with us. We had a nice talk and stuff while changing clothes and then went off to King's Cross information desk where we'd wait for some more girls to arrive to finally take off to the O². (Me is that one with the "A" - cap ^^)

If you look for a good, cheap way to get around London - get yourself an Oyster card. Costs 5 pounds and you can charge it with how much you want. No day ticket buying or anything anymore, you just pay as you go. Very useful.

At the O² we first sat down inside waiting for what to do now since we wanted to meet the guys (which wouldn't work in the end...) Having some discussions and some chocolate before going over to the H entrance doing some videos, having fun and getting our heart posters from one of the girls.
Btw - if you never have been to the O² in London - brace yourself. It's the hugest thing I've ever seen in my life... Outside as well as inside. The outside is like a whole city for itself under a roof, and inside there is space for like 15.000 people. Simply WOW.
So after another few hours of waiting (and a hot chocolate for me..) we finally went in then. I myself just to find out that I'd probably walk straight out again cause I almost felt sick standing so high above with only like 50 centimeters of concrete in front of me to stand on and then the seat rows going straight down. Better not get unconcious there or this might be the last thing you do... But in the end I somehow adjusted to it. Still it was an awesome view somehow.
Yeah what else... the concert was f***ing awesome, at some point the whole venue would sparkle of phone torches while 911 playing a ballad ... never seen something so beautiful. (Sadly the photo is unsharp ) I'm just a little sad that we didn't meet the boys of Five. But well, maybe another day. I will not give up until I have my photos xDD
After that we went back then, first to King's Cross and then back to the hostel with some McDonalds food and then going to bed.

May 15th
After getting up not too late and saying goodbye to the girls (that would move on to Dublin) I went out to do some sightseeing. I somehow finally had found my way in London's underground which made it easy for me to find my goals now. First station for me was Tower Hill. I went out and around, over the Tower Bridge, through Shad Thames and back and on to Westminster where I walked my round, seeing Big Ben, London eye (I stood quite a while beneath it gazing up and feeling small...) and the house of parliament. Still had kinda shitty weather but well, London is famous for it, isn't it? After that I went to Knightsbridge from where I'd go to Harrods. I had to switch tube line at South Kensington and found a kinda good looking guy playing a goddamn good E-guitar *_* ... (Among the one and a half songs I heard was Metallica's nothing else matters... I just so love it...) If my feet wouldn't have hurted so bad I'd stayed and had a listen but nah -.-° Murphy I hate you.
Wasn't in Harrods then for very long cause I had no orientation and feared I'd get lost in there and never find my way out again... BUT I found that egyptian escalator and felt like in a Goa'Uld - temple xD I was fascinated and shocked at the same time by the obvious symbolics. Still, I became Daniel Jackson for a while wishing to be able to read the hieroglyphics...
Well.. out there then and back to the hostel to rest my feet that were hurting like hell. And also - what did I find when I came back? The girls were still there and I was way too fast. But didn't take long until they left then.
After some time of rest I went off another time then to Abbey Road, I wanted to see the place where Nightwish had recorded their orchestra parts... Found the studio but didn't find that famous beatles - crosswalk... -.-
On my way to Abbey Road I also came along Baker Street station, which is - as I think - a great example for how old and stuff London's underground is partly looking... you feel almost like in another world... like in some underground steampunk movie.
Well then, back to King's cross, buying me a Gryffindor scarf and then back to the hostel... had to get up early the next day to catch my flight...

May 16th
Went off to the airport at 9 am, first going to London Victoria, from there with a coach back to Gatwick in another 2 hours. At the airport then I took it slow and had some breakfast first (at lunchtime but who cares xD), dropped my suitcase, went through safety check, off to wait for my gate to be announced and getting some presents for my parents.
After an about 30 minutes delay we finally could go on board of the plane.
Back home I had a really hard time cause I somehow couldn't get used to speak German again xD But slowly everything starts to become normal again.
I came home at around 1 am, checked my mail and stuff and went to bed then.

All in all .... I think London is worth another visit since I couldn't make it to see EVERYTHING I wanted to see cause my feet were killing me. But I made a decision that I'll never fly anywhere again for any person or band in this world. It's simply too strenuous and not worth it.
And also - if you're not good with walking, better not go to London. There are almost no escalators in the underground stations and if you have to switch the tube line you first have to walk a kilometer. For going around the city by tube you best can get yourself an Oyster card that you can buy in almost every tube station and charge it with how much ever you want and pay as you go then.
I don't recommend that King's Cross Journey's hostel... don't like sleeping with strangers in one room, don't like that old and that nothing there is really working (the toilet flush for example) ... But I still got to know some nice people there. (Even one guy from austria who works there and speaks my dialect xD). Next time I'll get me a room of my own.

The whole lot of my London pics you can find on my private facebook page (Hope you can view the folder, I made it public..)

So... hope you enjoyed this little journey report and hope I could help you if you had questions about going around London If you have any questions left, feel free to contact me :)

Art Refugium over and out.

Some last words...

... before I leave the house in less than 50 hours. 

I'm deeply stuck in the preparations for London, almost everything done so far. Slowly that "part of an army" - feeling is coming to me again, and every time I get that feeling, the journey I'm about to make is going to be a great adventure. Yet I'm somehow melancholic and don't know why.

I'll also (for now) skip drawing the 4th head of my big project, point one cause I don't have that madness anymore somehow at the moment... and without that it's impossible to go on. And point two - because I had to begin another portrait, I just HAD to o_ô Here's the first work in progress:

Doesn't look like success at the moment, having a fight with that stonehenge paper and the eyes but I hope it will turn out the way I wanna have it... Anyone already guessing who it could be? x)

So... well... not much happened the last days, gonna stop writing now and saying byebye until next week :)

Yesss it's done... finally.

I made it to upload part 10 of my making of... after having another audio switching session cause youtube told me the songs I used were owned by SME, which isn't even true after my knowledge... so I switched to Tchaikovsky x) Hope you like it anyway.

What am I doing at the moment? Not much, I'm such a lazy ass at the moment, not having the power to do anything... I'm stuffing my head with Stargate and wait until the day is over... Yeah, funny. I am going to London in about 2 weeks and what do I have in my head? Stargate -.- Well but this could keep me from greater mental damage. So seen it's good.

I was also pissed off yesterday cause now the boys have announced their own headline tour in the end of the year ... And I can't go cause I've already spent my whole money on a big reunion concert where I could have had a full one only with the guys... I feel deceived. Couldn't they tell us a bit earler? ... Now waiting for european tour... can't do anything else. No money left. Thanks guys.

And now back to business. My internet is fast again, means I can do some work again.