And so...

Hello me hearties =)

Sorry for being away for so long again ... haven't been doing so well the last week. It all began with having stomachache that woke me up, after that my digestion started to make problems and somehow every bone was hurting ... I went to the doc but he couldn't find anything... I guess it came from the excitement and stress of the days before... all the happenings threw me over I guess... I'm doing good again now. Hope it stays that way.

I also did a little art lately. Not much, just a cardboard box (cause I had gotten a box of Ferrero Küsschen for my birthday and wanted to make something of it...) and a few photos.. But see yourself =):

I also digged out an old movie lately which I've seen on TV somewhen in my youth, I have no idea how old I was then... The movie's called "Encino man" and is about two high school guys (played by Pauly Shore and Sean Astin [later known as Samwise Gamdschie from Lord of the Rings]) who find a cave man (played by Brendan Fraser) in their garden while digging out a pool... they try to make him socially suitable and stuff and get into a lot of trouble because of that. But still the movie is funny as hell. At least I know now where I've got my speech defects from ... they're just too contagious xD

And I've finally finished reading a book. It's called "Nachtland" and the Author is Jan de Leeuw. It's about a little boy whose father became a drinker and now lives separated from his mother and he hates the new boyfriend of his mother. After christmas the boy runs away out onto the frozen lake where he is later found, lying in coma since then. While his sister and mother try everything to get him back into life at the hospital, the boy himself makes a journey inside his mind. He lands in a wonderland, finds friends and enemies. I think it's a book worth reading, yet I don't know if it's available in english. I got it in German, the original must be in Dutch. Here's a german recension: http://www.buechertreff.de/kinder-jugendbuecher/63833-jan-de-leeuw-nachtland/
I think the book is very enthralling, yet it reminds me of some certain movie. But I like it =) It's worth a read. 

What belongs to books - I got a big inspiration push lately for my SciFi story =) Am working on it again at the moment, hoping I will finish it somewhen... I let you know when the time has come. And I will try to translate / let translate it into english =)

So far ... cya'll =) 

Miracles tend to happen when you expect it last.

*wipes off dust* oh dear, again 12 days without a post ... I'm starting to get lazy. 

So, where was I?

It seems that I now am truly free from that curse that bugged me all the past years... I had kind of a last test yesterday looking at these pics and wondering why the heck I wanted that guy... So I'm free now *jumps around of joy* 

The other thing that makes me incredibly happy atm is ... I digged out an old CD from the attic to find out from when it was and through that I found my 2 heroes on facebook... And I can now officially prove that they're the lovliest, kindest lovelies in this world <3 Besides that I've got a problem of a different sort now but I think I can live with that x) Also the puzzle of where's and why's has got a new piece that's quite interesting. So... yeah, everything's going well at the moment. Finally.

I'm also hatching about a new painting idea, not yet clear in my mind but I think that will be the case soon. And I'm still digging in my small picture collection to find something drawable cause I'd love to do two separate portraits after my special project but the pics are either too small or they have such complicated details that it's impossible for me to draw them T_T I will find a way. I will.

For now, I will crawl upstairs into my bed, been up for way too long playing games and cleaning the bathroom... *yawns*

C'all <3

Why does there always have to be a title xD

... nah, I just don't really am bubbling over with ideas when it comes to name things xD Sorry for not writing so long again ... having a million other things in my head atm not knowing what to do with them ...

First of all - the shadow didn't take back my life. It really seems to be over. Still, I'm a bit moody these days. Especially today cause I'm asking myself once more what sense certain things in my life make. Or more - what good is a dream when you'll never reach it. I think I swapped one shadow for another... -.- Why do we always yearn to have someone we can look up to while it chains us up? I think I've never really been myself in my life. And probably never will. Not if I don't find a method to stay off of those influences ... Well but as long as I don't find a cure I'll be watching out to keep my sanity... 

For my web page - I fear I have to beg your patience once more since my boss seems to be quite busy atm -.- I really hope I will go online at least this month. 

Btw - does anyone of you know a good, free source to learn italian? I'm really into it at the moment and would love to learn it. (Among other things cause I love the sound of that language...) Please leave a comment if you know possibilities =) 

So ... yeah. I will see where this all will lead me, standing somewhat besides me today, need to sort my head out. 

Cy'all :) 

P.S.: Can't stop watching this at the moment <3 Craving to see them live but wondering if they'll ever come on tour again... :-/

Everything remains as it never was.

Hello me hearties =)

There's a lot of news for you these days.

Point one - My web page will be online latest end of the week, there are still some template fixes to be done and I did a beautiful front page for you =) Which leads me to:

Point two - the reason I now poked my boss to finally finish the page is - im finally gaining some attention, at least when it comes to my Nightwish artwork cause I joined a facebook group that's leaded by people with influence and yeah well... ^_^° They love my stuff. And little me is happy when people love my things =)

And the rest of the story - I got a new finished artwork =) The long lasting and finally finished painting for Ghost River. The scan doesn't quite show the real beauty of this work but still I think it's one of my best pieces =) But see for yourself =)

 

The problem now is that I've got some kind of artistic idle -.- Guess I overworked myself again... Hope it disappears soon cause I've got a lot of stuff to finish and begin... x_x 

And I'm again hanging somewhere inbetween the worlds cause of this group join from above... Normally I didn't (wanna) have to do that much anymore with all that stuff and I wanted to stay out of it but something seems to wanna tell me that the journey isn't over yet. I know it's a good thing, yet I fear that I could fall back into my old habits again ... Which would be the last thing on earth I'd want. Seems my box of darkness has come out of the shadow and taken shape again ... But we'll see. As the good old saying is - Time will tell. I know my borders. The shadow will not steal my life again. 

ArT RefugiuM over and out.

A box full of darkness.

Hello me hearties =)

I've got a finished work for you again, the little inbetween - speedy called "Moonchild", inspired by a song by the same name by Celtus =)

It's nothing special but I kinda had to do this inbetween... and it's - if he doesn't pull back - already sold to a friend x)

And for all the rest - I decided to continue with the Ghost river - painting I had flying around here... well I could say I didn't decide but my inner me did ... Here are a few of the last WIP's =)

The castle is inspired by some sculpture and digital art stuff I found on my google research but all in all there's not much left of the original images, I re-designet it all x) Hope I can smash the girl who wants this painting off her chair with the details 'n shit xD

So... for the rest... I'm doing fine, I just lately had a little family argument that kicked me back into a bit of a depressive phase that almost poked me into the wrong direction again but I made it to climb out of there again before it ate me... for now I'm stable I think. I just feel some sort of darkness taking over the world but that's no wonder since america is about to bomb us all out of this world... We'll see. For now everything's fine. 

Now that it gets colder again my interest in writing also is coming out again... I think I'm gonna throw over my scifi novel another time xD Hopefully one day it will see some daylight ... =_= But hey - I've got a concrete beginning scene now and already have the score for it, so it can't be that bad xDD

Ok I'm out, I'm babbling too much rubbish.

I saw what you did.

Hello me hearties =)

I'm back, all tooth fixed and well... nah well rested not. Not yet. Gonna get some more sleep later, nothing to do anymore tomorrow. 

Yesterday evening was awesome again, as always when I'm in Solnhofen. A nice and cozy little "family" meeting. :) And if you ask "wtf is she talking about??" - here a video of my heroes of yesterday with one of their covers :)

If you live in southern germany (or austria) I recommend to see them live. They're awesomesauce. I'm blown away again every time I see them. They've also been adopted now by Bayern 1, one of our regional radio stations, so if you can make it to receive it, keep your ears open since they play a few of Suzan's own songs. 

I also got my borrowed e-guitar now, just need the amp and the wire now but that'll happen somewhen in the next time then =) Very curious.

I also began - out of pure boredom - a drawing with white pastel pencil on a black base colored sheet of watercolor paper... out came this:

 

And it's probably already sold since a buddy of mine loves it x) Just gotta finish it... =_= (And I guess you people know how good I am in finishing things...) We'll see =) So long...

cya :)

An essay on the learning process...

Someone I loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift. (Mary Oliver)
Without this person, my artistic skills wouldn’t be what they are today, probably they won’t even exist. I’ve paid a high price for this. But who knows where I’d be if I wouldn’t have been given this box of darkness. Probably it kept me from going astray into even darker grounds.
At first, this box of darkness seemed to be just another song with attachments that led me to the face of this person for the first time. Later on I started to glorify this box. It took me away to worlds I had never known before, showed me what I was able to do and who I seemed to really be. In reality, I was just a mirror, finding someone else in myself.
Sunk deeply into my dazed, moonlight soaked world, I didn’t realize that the darkness started to take me over. I thought I had nothing to lose, thought this is the world how it’s meant to be for me, a prince on a white horse. I’ve let it consume my thoughts, my heart, and my mind. I’ve let it consume my life which I was ready to give up.
This box kept me caged in chains I was never able to get rid of cause they seemed to be made of an indestructible material. Every time I tried to escape, they became tighter until I nearly couldn’t breathe anymore.
Then one day, the chains seemed to disappear for a little time. I took my chance and tried to wriggle myself out as long as they were nothing but translucent lines. But as I did my first move, they immediately became solid and unbreakable again. I did this for a few times, but this box always kept me chained up, threatening to tighten the chains so much that I wouldn’t be able to breathe anymore, always waving at me with the face of a good friend and the last glimpse of hope I had.
Then, one day the day came where my thoughts drifted toward the darkness, and I realized the dark box had become and is just a light grey shade in a bright environment. A deep sigh of relief welled within me, and I knew the darkness was gone for good. I felt a great relief, now that I was free from this burden. Every now and then my mind wants to open the hazy shadow box once more but loses its interest again in the last second.
For now I dwell on the bright side. And I hope this box stays the haze it is, and maybe disappears completely someday.

I thank the person who gave me this box, for all the experiences, for all the things I was allowed to learn and see, for all the inspiration he gave me and still does.
But more – for understanding life itself a little bit better.

.... I had to get this out. Found these wonderful lines by Mary Oliver today and just had to say something about it cause it hits the nail on the head. And yet this is just another try to therapy myself. 

But everything's fine, don't worry :)

So where was I? 

Had a dentist appointment today, fixing another hole or two... in the end it became a root canal treatment -.-° Now I have a temporary filling there and gotta go to the doc again on thursday to get it all finished... sheesh am I glad when these 2 teeth are done.

On wednesday I'll go to my bosses, bringing up some paper and picking up the e-guitar and in the evening going to see my 2nd mom and brother in Solnhofen. Will be a nice and cozy evening again, I know already now =) So looking forward to see them again, it's been almost 9 months now since I last saw them... 

So... yeah, not much new here in the south. Life starts to go on again after waking me up way too early today... probably gonna go to bed early too =_=

So cya'll next time =)

I slowly run out of titles...

Hello me hearties =)

There's been happening quite a lot of stuff since the last entry, but let's start at the beginning.

First of all, I finished the painting that was lying around in the corner for almost 2 years... I started it shortly after Nightwish's single storytime was out but then somehow lost the mood to continue... but now it's all done =)

Done with acrylics on a sheet of 30x40 cm Britannia watercolor paper. I'm still trying to make the new series of paintings for the NW album as a continuing story in some way, just as the songs of the album are .. I'm still working on the next one, the Ghost River piece, which has also a bridge in it... 

The 2nd thing then ... I ordered myself a stamp with my wartermark on :D Botched signatures on my artworks? Never again :D I just need a silver ink pad now cause it just won't work with the color I tried... but whatever. I can wait. 

Btw - the symbol represents the initials of my real name, an M and an A ;) I designed this piece a long time ago but never really had a use for it... one day not too long ago then I thought ok - I need a watermark. And so I found the symbol somewhere in the depths of my harddisk ... x) Now I went to one of these online stamp shops and ordered a customized stamp... Hope it will be of good use in the future. 

I also bought me some good drawing paper lately cause I'm running out of test sheets... got me some Fabriano accademia in 120g/m² and 200g/m² in A4 and A3 :) This paper is awesome for pencil portraits, I can only recommend it :)

 

So now on to the last thing I wanted to mention =)
I've been to the cinema yesterday with a friend, to watch The lone ranger :D 

(BEWARE, SPOILERS! If you don't mind being spoilt, read on.) 

And for those of you who haven't seen it yet - forget the shit that the critics are writing. The movie is awesome. Absolutely great what belongs to all the native american stuff and all that, I love it :) The landscape they filmed in also is stunning as well as the visual effects and the stunts. My fave things in the movie were the mad horse and the gun battle on the rolling trains =) Some szenes were so goddamn funny that we were almost lying down on the cinema floor laughing. BUT - some scenes badly reminded me of "Der Schuh des Manitu", a German comedy movie about a ranger and a gay native american ... I guess those Disney guys must have seen it at some point xD 

But all in all a great movie. Well, they combined Bruckheimer, Verbinski, Johnny Depp and Hans Zimmer again, there is no chance of a bad result ;) I also love the score, already got it here. 

The only thing I didn't like about the movie is that they used the old Tonto to recite his memories to a boy instead of pulling up the movie as a whole story. But everything else was great =)

Yeah so far for now... Cya =)